Thursday 12 April 2018

Descriptive Writing


Miss Bannan's writing group have been working on descriptive writing. This week we have been writing about lemons. We used wow words and our senses to describe what they were like to look at, touch, taste and smell. We also watched a buddy eat the lemon and watched their face to see their reaction. Taylor, Turanga, Ella-Pearl, Cole and Sophie wrote some amazing descriptions and got to read their stories out to Mr M, who was very impressed and gave them a gold sticker! 


Read some of our amazing descriptive writing below:

The room was filled with excitement and anticipation as the class stared at the object that looked like a yellow fruit and an L&P ice block. As I bit into the juicy, sour, stinging and a little bit transparent lemon my tastebuds were running away from the lemon because they didn't like it. My eyes crunched and scrunched up like a crunchy bar. It was extremely yellow and sour. When I looked at the skin, I saw some little gold freckles. It was really strong. - Ella-Pearl.

When Mrs Harris took the white bowl of who-knows-what out of the fridge I felt anxious. As I touched the lemon it froze my hand! My taste buds stung! It also tasted sour. Zara's eyes scrunched up and her hands flapped as she bit into the lemon. When I bit into the lemon I was disgusted. - Cole.

Have you ever eaten a whole lemon before? I have. It was yellow like the sun. It was squishy. It smelt amazing like lemon perfume. It was juicy. I loved the lemon. It was so loud when Mrs Harris brought the gleaming bowl out of the fridge. The room grew with anticipation. When we all bit into the lemon our faces crinkled with disgust. Our taste buds stung as we threw the lemon out. - Taylor.

The room buzzed with excitement. Everyone was so excited because Mrs Harris said we would have something to eat. Everyone was yelling. My ears blew up!! My ears didn't actually blow up. The inside of the lemon looked like mars. When Lucas bit into the lemon his eyes disappeared because the lemon was so sour. - Turanga.

As Mrs Harris pulled the shiny bowl out of the cold fridge I got excited! If I tell you it was sour, can you guess what it was? If you guessed a lemon you're right! There was a lemon in the bowl! WARNING! Never taste a thing that looks like a little yellow planet. The lemon gleamed in the shiny bowl. When Rylan ate the sour fruit his eyes scrunched up and his tongue poked out. - Sophie.




4 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your Lemon Writing with me yesterday. I LOVED the WOW words you used and how you used Show Don't Tell Writing. I can't wait to read more.

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  2. Hi Ella cyan wanted to ask you if you are doing good also I ❤️You’re writing
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  4. Kia ora Im isaac from yaldhurst school I liked the way you have been redany it is good for you this part game me a memory of my fors book ever how come you did this book bye isaac

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